Over the past few months, I’ve found myself in some pretty interesting conversations.
Some have taken place in school gymnasiums. Others in conference rooms. A few have been in Washington, D.C. with people thinking about youth sports at a national level. Others have happened on the sidelines of programs here in Hartford, New York, and Baltimore.
Strangely enough, no matter where the conversation starts, it often ends up in the same place.
Kids are quitting sports.
Sometimes the conversation focuses on burnout. Sometimes it’s early specialization. Sometimes it’s the pressure that seems to have found its way into youth sports earlier and earlier. Whatever the specific topic, there is no question that many kids are walking away from sports long before we would like them to.
And to be clear, I think that’s a conversation worth having. But somewhere along the way, I started thinking about a different group of kids altogether.
The kids who never get the chance to quit.
That thought first crossed my mind several years ago during one of our programs. We were introducing soccer to a group of children and one of the coaches asked a simple question.
“Who knows the rules?”
A few hands went up. Then one young boy raised his hand and asked, completely sincerely, “What are the rules?”
I remember smiling at first because it seemed like such an innocent question. But the more I thought about it, the more it stuck with me.
Growing up, I don’t remember ever learning the rules of soccer. Or basketball. Or baseball. Or street hockey. Or any of the dozens of games we seemed to invent on the fly in our neighborhood. The rules were just sort of there. Older kids taught younger kids. Somebody always had a ball. Somebody’s yard became the field. If there was a disagreement, we argued for five minutes and then kept playing.
Sports were simply part of life. For a lot of kids, they still are. For a lot of others, they aren’t.
As the World Cup arrives in North America this summer, millions of children will watch the world’s most popular sport on its biggest stage. They’ll wear jerseys, imitate celebrations, and spend hours pretending to be their favorite players. Some may even discover a lifelong love of soccer.
I think that’s wonderful. But I also can’t help wondering how many children will be inspired by what they see and then have nowhere to go with that inspiration.
No league. No transportation. No equipment. No coach. No safe place to play. No one to teach them the rules.
We spend a lot of time talking about the kids who are doing too much. We should. It’s an important conversation. But I hope we also make room to talk about the kids who are still waiting for their first opportunity. The ones who aren’t burned out because they haven’t had the chance to begin. The ones who aren’t specializing because they haven’t had the chance to sample. The ones who aren’t quitting because nobody has ever invited them onto the field.
Maybe that’s one of the reasons we’ve been so excited to support Soccer Forward Fests (promoted by US Soccer and Common Goal) and other initiatives connected to the growing excitement around soccer in North America. Not because we’re trying to create the next great soccer player, but because we know what sports can become when they are introduced in the right way.
A game becomes confidence. A teammate becomes a friend. A coach becomes a mentor. A field becomes a community.
And a simple question like “What are the rules?” becomes the beginning of something much bigger.
As conversations about youth sports continue over the coming months, I hope we keep both groups of kids in mind. The ones who have too much sport in their lives. And the ones who still don’t have enough.
Both deserve our attention. And both deserve better.
About Steve Boyle
Steve Boyle is a connector, collaborator, and tireless advocate for making youth sports more playful, inclusive, and developmentally sound. As Executive Director of 2-4-1 CARE, Inc. and Co-Founder of 2-4-1 Sports, Steve has helped lead a growing movement to reshape the youth sports experience—one that puts the joy of play and the whole child at the center. Grounded in his background as a school counselor and coach, Steve co-created the award-winning TOP Self™ platform, which uses sport as a vehicle for social-emotional learning. Under his collaborative leadership, 2-4-1 has grown from a single program in West Hartford, Connecticut to a global nonprofit impacting communities across North America and Africa. Steve’s influence extends beyond his own organization. He served as Advisory Board Chair for the National Association of Physical Literacy and as Global Lead for Athletics and Physical Literacy at Whittle School & Studios, shaping programming in Washington, D.C. and Shenzhen. Whether working with local partners or global networks, Steve brings humility, heart, and a belief in the power of teamwork to everything he does.